My Humor

I have decided that I do, in fact, have the humor of a 4th grade boy.  I find myself laughing hysterically in the middle of any staff meeting at my school as my male principal begins talking about the state of the play ground balls.  I, of course, cannot hide the fact that I am ridiculously immature when he says "We really need new balls, the upper graders just can't play with their balls since they are too lumpy." There is one other teacher there that has the same sense of humor and if we make any kind of eye contact we will both need to leave the room.  If he ever says that he would like to purchase blue balls...I will die!!!  

As the counselor of my school, I have many job requirements and duties.  I am the chief negotiator between angry parents and staff, copy maker, courier, taxi cab, caterer, ice getter, phone answerer, official photographer, counselor, dancer, singer, boo boo fixer, lice checker, and too many more to list.  One of the duties that I have had the honor to do these last few years is I have to teach Family Life to a group of upper grade kids.  I am not sure where the family life curriculum comes into the counseling part of my job but, I do it anyway.  This year, I am teaching the 4th grade boys and all they want to know about is poop and farts.  They ask questions like "Why do farts smell?" "Why do they make noise?"  " If I fart on a match will it really make a fire ball?" and "Why is my poop green?"  With my humor, none of these questions are a good match.  I must remain serious and with a straight face tell them that their poop is green because...well, it was probably something you ate...WTH did you eat?  Yes, your fart will catch on fire since it is gas so don't light a fireball (too close anyway). Your farts smell because it is gross gas, and it makes noise because...this one kills me. How do you answer this question with a straight face?