We have realized we are somewhat of a "freak magnet"...whenever we get together, we have the strangest things happen to us. Last night, a highway patrol car ran over the curb right in front of us, we have had 5 semi nude young men come into the restaurant to ask a young lady to the ball, we have been approached by homeless people, to name just a few. We have often wondered why strange things happen to us when we get together. Last night I realized, if you are in the same place for 3 hours...strange things WILL happen, no matter who you are. There are that many weirdos out there.
Thursday, December 31, 2009
We all have them...good friends...people that shape who you are and people that bring out the best in you. I have a few good friends that I see occasionally and when I leave it makes me think "Why has it been six months since I last saw her?" I had dinner with such a friend last night. We ate at our usual restaurant, at the usual time and had many laughs and good conversations. She is someone that I met many years ago at work...I knew who she was and she had a cubicle on the other side of me. She was someone who kept to herself yet, was funny and smart and honest (she is getting a big head now reading this but, yes that is what I thought). She was somewhat like Queen Elizabeth of the office...well, without the jewels and the majesty part. I asked her several times to go to lunch with me and she always said "no, I brought my lunch but thanks." One day I asked her to lunch and she said..."you know, I really don't need any more friends." My response..."I am just asking you to go to lunch, not be friends." or something like that. She, of course, saw my magnetism and humor so she went to lunch with me that day and we have been friends ever since. I broke through....I made it to the inner circle.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
I have an uncanny ability to find the humor in things that most others will find completely out of hand. The other day, I decided it would be a incredibly fun day to take the little ones skiing for the day. We live so close to some major ski slopes and what better way to spend the day with my two girls then skiing and enjoying the snow...hmm, well, a root canal would have been better at times. Don't get me wrong, we had a great time but, there were moments....OMG the moments when I thought of jumping off the chair lift.
We left early in the morning and I had perfectly timed it to get to the slopes just as they opened and we would, for sure, get the best parking spot around. If you are a regular follower of my blog, you know that this could not have happened because if it did, I wouldn't be writing about it.
My in laws have a cabin up in the mountains near the ski areas so, we usually leave our skis and equipment up there. The girls and I roll into the cabin around 8:30 (slopes open at 9:00 perfectly timed...right?) to pick up the skis...only we can't find the boots. Skis...check, poles...check, goggles...got 'em, boots...Oh CRAP!!! We spend about 45 minutes looking for the boots and calling anyone who may know where they were. After a frenzied search party that may or may not have involved a few tears, we found the boots in a closet that I vaguely remember putting them in during the summer. We headed up to the slopes for our fun filled day.
We had never been to this particular ski resort before...mistake #1. We had to ride a gondola to actually get to the slopes...mistake #2. Having two kids by myself and thinking I could handle it...mistake #3. We take the gondola over to the village and I thought the kids would love this part...not so much. They freaked out on the way over there. When we got settled into the village and found our way to the ticket booth (carrying all our gear I might add along with a few choice words under my breath) we finally paid our obscene amount of money to hit the slopes at 10:42 AM...Yep, we already missed an hour and 42 minutes of skiing!!! Of course, my thought is...well, that is $22.14 that I can't get back. Then I realized the amount of money spent for a day of skiing minus the hour and 42 minutes was made up for in those wonderful memories that we just created on the gondola and the searching and the aimlessly walking around. GREAT!!
Very first chair lift ride, both kids get off too early and end up ducking under the chair in order to NOT be hit in the head by it. Second chair lift ride, my youngest got off and ran into a trash can. Oh , I knew this would be a wonderful day. Lunch was back in the car so that meant another gondola ride just to eat our lunch. Oh the joy of that again!!! Not to mention the many, many gear malfunctions that included goggles, helmets, gloves, harness and poles and YES we had an issue with each of those things. This was shaping up to be a great day...don't you think? I was told that the goggles were "actually hurting my brain" by my youngest daughter. And I cannot forget the fact that as "mom of the year" I MAY have misplaced my oldest daughter at one point during the day. In my defense, she is so freakin fast on the slopes and she ended up getting too far in front of her sister and I and I was glad to find her waiting at the bottom of the hill and not over the edge as I thought she may have gone.
The amount of money I spent on this day and the amount of tears all became worth it as we were exiting the gondola for the 4th time that day and both of my kids refused to carry their gear. My youngest had all she could handle in carrying her gloves and my oldest thought it wasn't fair that she had to carry her skis and poles when her sister did not. My response? Exactly as my parents used to say..."This is part of skiing, if you don't carry your gear, you don't go." That moment was PRICELESS!!!
Sunday, December 20, 2009
I LOVE (or hate) the holiday season...
10. Christmas Cookies
9. Wrapping presents until my neck hurts.
8. Christmas cards
6. Having 2 weeks off of work
5. The decorations
4. The music
3. My family
2. The hand knitted stockings hung by the fire.
1. My youngest daughter commenting on the neighbors big balls (hanging from the tree but, whatever...)
Now, you must figure out which things on this list I truly love (if there are any) and which ones I hate. FYI - a lot of these can go either way depending on my f'in Christmas spirit that day....just sayin.
Tuesday, December 15, 2009
We all have them....I try to embrace them but, usually end up having a panic attack about them.
1. I HATE anything that when I eat it, my hands turn a different color. Doritos and Cheetos are the things I loathe the most. I am so tired of having orange hand prints on my ass from little kids having dirty hands from lunch and then hugging me. This came from the elementary school I used to work at since my kids are NEVER allowed to eat those things in my presence. OMG...when they lick all that cheese like substance off their hands...GAG!!!
2. I must get out of bed either on a time ending in a zero or a five...I can't get up at 6:12...must wait until 6:15. Why? I have absolutely no idea...
3. I like to make lists....several lists....my lists have lists...and I LOVE crossing things off my lists and when I get down to a few things...I make a brand new list. Apparently, I spend my free time fantasizing about lists. If you haven't noticed, THIS is a list and if anyone was to look at my ipod touch...you would find (at least) five lists at any given time.
4. I have very serious shoe issues. This is not a joke, it really is a sickness. I am CONSTANTLY losing my shoes or just one shoe to be exact. I don't understand how I lose one shoe. For the record, I have two feet so how one shoe disappears? I have no clue. I spend at least 2 mornings a week in a frenzy looking for my shoes. Now, one would think that I might find them the night before? Oh no...that has never happened and I don't see it happening tomorrow (unless I put that on my list of things to do).
5. It is physically impossible for me to make my coffee the night before. My coffee pot doesn't have a timer on it but, I could at least make it and then just flip the switch in the morning...but, NOOOOO, for some reason I can't do it. I think about it but, never do it. I think it would be great to do and how nice that would be but, I think I hope every single night that there is truly a coffee fairy or some sort of fairy (oh I don't know....a little gay guy?) that will do it for me.
6. I am a night owl that desperately wants to be a morning person. I have not been able to be successful at waking up early for several days in a row (three is my limit). I really wish my body would wake up on it's own at 5:30 AM refreshed and energized but, I guess I would need to go to bed by 9:00 PM to do that.
7. I have a freakishly weird obsession with hoodies and Converse tennis shoes. I would wear them every single day if I could....and really? I can, so I do.
So, tell me..what is a quirk that you have? Come on...We are all friends here.
Monday, December 7, 2009
Now I have been ever so busy working on my "Mom of the Year" award. I am trying hard to be super cool, fun, and great...It isn't so hard to do right now since my kids are still so little but, it is exhausting.
When my 4 year old came to me with some Halloween "Gak" and wanted to play with it, my response was..."Of course, looks like fun." Note to self: Gak sucks. This is what I learned for the 10 minutes that my child played with Gak:
1. Gak really sucks.
2. When left unattended...Gak and child CAN become messy
3. Gak is somewhat easy to clean up.
4. Gak must be cleaned up otherwise this happens (please don't judge at how messy our dining room table is or the scraps of food on the floor...you should be looking at the Gak. It actually took me about 30 minutes to even notice the gak but, whatever).
5. Gak looks fun but, it, most certainly, sucks.
6. An older sister can really influence a younger sister to do things that she is not supposed to do (like...oh I don't know...stick the entire bag of gak on your head just to see what happens).
7. Gak CAN be fun except when it is stuck in a 4 year old's hair...then it is a pain in the ass!!!
8. Washing gak out of a 4 year olds hair is no picnic...you must pull on the gak to get it out, all the while, being careful to not pull out her hair (when angry..this is a bit difficult to do.)
9. Adult supervision is required with Gak!!!! DAMN IT...no more Gak. The last thing I want to do is be responsible to supervise my children!!!
10. I am well on my way to being Mother of the Year.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Black Friday isn't for everyone...we all know this. It takes a certain kind of person to brave the stores to save some money. I go every year with my sister and her friend and we make it such an adventure.
This shopping trip, we were walking through Target...when what to my wondering eyes appeared out of nowhere??? A Barbie Townhouse. You know the one....that had an elevator and three stories because Barbie clearly could not walk up three flights of stairs. It was pink and lovely and girly and pretty and pink (did I already say that?).
My sister was a Barbie fanatic. She owned every piece of Barbie accessory ever invented. She had the boat, the pool, the car, the RV, the plane, clothes galore, and the coveted townhouse. She would spend hours with her friends playing Barbie's, all the while, I was only allowed to sit and watch when her friends were over. Now, my sister would deny this piece of information as her recollection of us as children is that she was so sweet and nice to me all the time. When they would leave, she would let me play with her Barbie stash but, NEVER was I able to be Barbie...I was always Ken or Skipper or Tiffany or some other lame ass Barbie friend. Again, she would deny this as well. My sister and I were not the best of friends when I was a kid so, we would spend our play time usually yelling at each other or me tattling on her but, during the Barbie time....we would get along. When I saw that Townhouse in Target it almost brought tears to my eyes. Then my sister reminded me that she never allowed me to use the elevator in the townhouse and it made me laugh. What she didn't know was that whenever she wasn't home, I would help myself to that Barbie stash and sometimes, Barbie and Ken even made out in the elevator...How do you like that sis? I made Barbie slutty.