1. I did NOT laugh hysterically when the elementary school bus driver refused to take one of our kids home so the principal of the school came out to "talk" with her about her reasoning behind this. She did NOT tell him to "step off my bus" two times right in front of me and the said child that she was refusing to take home. I did NOT turn to him and ask him "so, how does it feel to get kicked off the bus?" He did NOT laugh at that moment (seriously, he didn't think it was funny...what?? Totally funny if you ask me). He now sees the hilariousness in the whole situation and can laugh at the fact that the principal of the school got kicked off the bus.
2. I did NOT think it was funny when my high school friend (shout out to Skinny Bitch) posted some glorious pictures from prom, river trips, hanging out, etc. The pictures themselves were funny enough but, the best part was 90% of the pictures, I had absolutely no recollection taking or who is even in them for that matter. I was NOT drinking through most of my senior high school year as evidenced by the lack of memory and the height of my bangs. GEEZ, could they be any higher...really?
3. I did NOT hang out on Saturday like the Beverly Hillbillies on the neighbors front porch drinking wine, watching the kids play. I did NOT then get home to do a little drunk facebooking (That is never good), only to see the same neighbors were drunk facebooking too!! Who does NOT love drunk facebooking.