I am so excited for another round of what I meant to say...I mean REAL excited I could almost piddle. Jump on over and check out what Chief meant to say as well...she is a hoot!!!
So, here it goes...my weekly "therapy" of keepin' it real.
To the director of the play that I so carelessly tried out for and clearly did not think all the way through...ya THAT director...who obviously does not see how freakin funny I really am and went on a rampage about saying I was upstaging myself in a scene and my sweet outwardly response was "oh, sorry...so you want me stand here? Got it." What I meant to say is..."Don't freakin yell at me..I cry easily and honestly you don't want me to cry. I have no freakin idea what the hell upstaging means and why you are so damn upset about it. JUST.BE.NICE and I might be more inclined to follow your directions...I said MIGHT you BEEYYAATTCCHH!!!! Really...how hard is it to be nice?"
I was holding that one in for a while..I really don't think she will be my friend after this show...and I would totally knock her ass off the stage if I wasn't in front of the children during rehearsals...I need to be a good role model and all that crap.
To the rest of the cast of this play....I said nothing...but, what I meant to say is..."What in God's name is wrong with you people? Why is this woman allowed to yell at unpaid actors that are doing her a favor by putting on this show? It is a CHILDREN'S fairytale show...with children in the cast...COME ON PEOPLE....if we ban together we can totally take her...actually if she is yelling at you then, she isn't yelling at me so, carry on...good work."
And finally to my Judgy friend (whom I adore but, we see things a bit differently)...what I said was..."Yes it is a stupid rule. I don't think a 6 year old should be suspended for making a hand gesture that resembled a gun on school grounds." What I meant to say is...."HOLD UP!!! When you work in a school with those little buggers, you let me know how you would handle a kid flipping you off or trying to fire you and telling you that you couldn't even work at Burger King because you were so ugly and then telling me that she was going to go home and get a gun and kill me like in mortal combat...5 years old that sweet little GIRL was (true story...actually happened to me and I totally didn't deserve that since I was wearing my jeans that make my ass look good and I just got a hair cut so I think I was presentable enough for Burger King...just sayin') Is it a ridiculous rule? Of course it is...but, a rule none the less. And...AND (I have more here)....the kid had been warned...parents had been warned that it was not appropriate for school. PERIOD!!! People need to take responsibility for their actions and the actions of their children. Seriously!!!! Can't we all just get along...let's maybe try not to even gesture whether a gun or a middle finger...I don't like either one...and I would totally knock you on your ass if you flipped me off...oh ya I could and you know it." and cue "We are the World" music.
AND SCENE....this is where I take my bow and you all throw roses onto my soapbox!!