Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Helmet Time

My ridiculously crazy mother is coming up this weekend (and YES, I will be sure to fill you in on all of her antics and NO, she is not driving the golf cart up 400 miles to visit).  I was chatting with her on the phone a few days ago and we were discussing her trip up and maybe her and I going skiing for a day.  She started to talk in a pitch that I only hear when she is concerned (by concerned, I mean paranoid) about me.  I shared with her that I have been taking the girls skiing with me and  how much they love it and go straight down the hill with no turns (mistake #1).  She interrupts me to find out if they are wearing helmets.  Ummm, Ya, of course they are wearing helmets.  I am beginning to see where this is going and I try to change the subject quickly (mistake #2).  "Mom, ya, know what happened at school?" "Mom, umm, I need your advice about something."  "Mom, could you tell me a story about when I was born?" "Mom, don't freak out but, I am sure someone just broke into my house and is going to kidnap me." Nothing could get her off of my safety while skiing.

"You wear a helmet, right?"
"ummm, well, I would wear a helmet if I was skiing with another person that was over the age of 7 but, mom, I just stay on the beginner runs and I don't go fast and...."  (mistake #3)
"WHAT????  Wait, you don't wear a helmet?  I wear a helmet you should wear a helmet."
Oh God no...here it comes...don't say it, don't say it...
"You could die ya know, if you hit your head.  Do you not love your kids enough to wear a helmet?"
Yes, pick your jaws up off the keyboard...she actually said those words.  The funny thing about all this is I have been looking for a helmet and have every intention of buying one now that my kids love to ski and I would rent one if I was going with another adult and would be skiing on any runs besides beginner runs.  

My lovely mother has told me that she is buying me a helmet when she comes up and I am to wear it while skiing all the time.  I think I am going to take it one step further and wear it just ALL THE TIME!!!  I will photograph myself sitting on a park bench in the helmet, driving in my car in the helmet, watching tv in the helmet, etc.  I know I turn into a child when things like this happen but, I LOVE IT!!!  (mistake #4)

10 comments:

krystal.hayward said...

Where can I get a helmet??! To top it off, you could always buy some cute winnie the pooh stickers and put them in random places all over the helmet! Just an idea...hehee

Peaches said...

LOL!! Thanks for starting my day with a good chuckle!!

O.G. said...

I'm right there with you. I cannot tell my mother anything without her freaking out.

TrueLoveIsaMama said...

Whenever you discuss your mom, I always laugh out loud! You really remind me of Yvonne!

Kristina P. said...

I think after Natasha Richardson died, people are much more cautious.

Oh, and I've lived in Utah for about 20 years, and never been snowboarding or skiing.

Over-Caffeinated X 4 said...

Oh my goodness, that is totally worth a saftey lecture from your mother... just the opportunity to post photos of yourself in a helmet watching tv is reason alone to buy one... I am thinking of getting one for myself. I should have worn it today while I was barefoot! :)

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

Yes, I'd wear the helmet constantly too. BTW, DON'T tell ANYONE that I took Asher down a 3 foot tall hill without a helmet. ((Our secret)) Delete this comment after reading, and for goodness sakes, TAKE PICS!!

This IS The Fun Part! said...

Why is it that we so often turn into 4 year olds when talking to our mothers?

It is frightening, isn't it?

Pam said...

I am absolutely LMAO over your mother's crazy helmet obsession!

However, we are all going to hold you to your own words of taking photos of yourself whilst wearing the helmet ALL THE TIME!

And I'm in agreement with Krystal that you should totally plaster that thing with kiddie stickers. Unless, of course it already has decorations like racing stripes or say, a skull and cross bones. Then you may be sending mixed signals to all of the other folks on the slopes. THAT my friend, could very well CAUSE some accidents!

Just Add Walter said...

haha... moms are funny