After completing my college years, I thought for sure, I would never be on another pub crawl EVER!!! I enjoyed the pub crawl back in the day but, I am just too sophisticated to do THOSE kinds of things anymore. I mean...SERIOUSLY, who has time to be gallivanting all over town doing Jager Bombs and playing a drinking golf game? NOT ME!!! Low and behold my wonderful neighbors who love to have a great time invited me on a pub crawl. Now, first of all....we all have kids so we left at 2:00 PM instead of the regular rowdy crowd that goes until the wee hours of the morning. Good call. I have had a day to mull over the happenings of last night and I have learned some very valuable lessons from my evening (ok ok late afternoon) on the streets.
1. Hydration is key. Don't be fooled into thinking that because you are drinking a beer chaser after a shot of Patron that you have fulfilled your water quota...even if it is Bud Light or Coors Light.
2. Tequila was my friend again for one night and one night only. I LOVE it but, it is like a one night stand....you wake up thinking "What the hell did I do?" Only to look over and see an empty Patron bottle...(hanging head in shame).
3. Don't underestimate the importance of comfortable shoes. Looking cute is NOT the most important thing in a pub crawl. The most important thing is to REMAIN on your feet and sometimes heels or high wedges hinder one's ability to remain upright.
4. Wear cute, somewhat new, and clean undergarments. We are all mom's and wives and sometimes...well, I don't put a lot of money or time into the undergarments anymore. Who cares....right? Well, when exiting the bathroom at the 6th bar it is imperative to ensure that your undergarments are in fact UNDER you clothes and not hanging out for all to see...Just sayin'. Of course, all the women told her that her bra was really pretty and wondered where she got it.
5. Five pubs....good...really, really good. Six pubs? Bad...very very bad. Pace yourself..don't go crazy at bar number 1....it is downhill from there.
6. Play the drinking golf game even if you don't get it. Adds some excitement to the evening. Lowest score wins....that is all you need to know.
7. There are some really weird people that hang out at bars at 3:00 in the afternoon. We are not those people since we just went that one time but, WOW!!! How do people get that drunk at 3:00...oh wait...my bad...moving on.
8. Always remember the extra credit points during the game. No injuries to self or others (otherwise you add 2 points...and yes we had injuries to others in a horrible angry pen incident).
9. I can hold my pee for a freakishly long period of time. While this may not seem overly amazing to anyone...us pub crawlers know it got me -4 points. I could have won the whole game but, sadly the shuffleboard was not my friend that night. What would I have won you might be asking? NOTHING...just the status of saying I won. All that pee holding for nothing? DANG...
10. Nothing says "pub crawl" like a 9:00 PM run in the pub crawl van to Taco Bell with 10 drunk people SCREAMING out their order. I didn't even order anything and somehow I ended up with a Nacho Supreme and Mexican Pizza.
We had such a great time and I still wonder why after each stop we got progressively louder. I felt bad for the woman driving us around....she had no idea what was in store for her. She DID come prepared though for the aftermath in the front seat...ouch. The pub crawl van had seen better days.
(They're) All My Children.
1 week ago