I Am Not Sure If I Will Survive In This Business

I am NOT cut out for this acting thing. I need a thicker skin to take some of the direction that I am given. The director is nice and all but, she is becoming increasingly frustrated with my newness to the acting world and not be able to tell stage left from stage right or why they need to have a house left and house right that is different then the stage left or stage right....I mean really? Can't you just say left or right or better yet...just point to where you want me to go?

We had a big photo shoot for the debut of the show. Apparently, the picture will go in the newspaper...you know? To embarrass me even more then I already am embarrassed by this whole fiasco. I really have no idea what came over me when I tried out...was I drunk? I wish...but, alas, I was not. I arrive at the photo shoot in my standard work attire...jeans, hoodie and converse tennis shoes. The director had told me that she had my Mother Goose outfit so, basically I just needed to show up. Show up I did...on time no less, thinking this would make her happy and love me and see that I am the next Meryl Streep and that I need to move on to the big screen. She gave me one disgusting look up and down and says....

"Please tell me you at least brought a hair tie for you hair?"

"Ummm....I am sure I can dig one out of my purse (uncomfortable laugh)...will this hot pink clip do with the ginormous flower on it?" (said so clearly as a joke...but, apparently it was not funny)

"Your hair needs to be in a low braid for the wig to go over"

"Wait...wig?"

"Here is your outfit...oh and here is your ma's cap"

"Wait...ma's cap? What the hell is that?"

Oh dear LORD!!! I go get dressed and I kid you NOT here people this is what she said to me...

"Please tell me you brought make up?"

"Ummm, no? I don't know what I am doing here so, if I am supposed to bring something you need to tell me."

"Well, you are a woman...I would think you would have some."

After I get my outfit, wig, ma's cap, and glasses on...she takes one look at me and shakes her head and says...

"Can someone do something with her?" and then she walks away...leaving me standing there holding my goose (literally holding a stuffed goose).

I begin to think this is not for me. After getting some make up...she pushes me on the photo shoot...goose and all...and now I am supposed to look sweet and motherly? Can't wait to see how that turns out.