The Freaks Come Out at 6:00 AM

I have upped my workout schedule to 4 days a week in preparation for the triathalon that I stupidly agreed to do.  I continue to run at 6:00 AM two days a week with my ever so cheery neighbor and her dog and I continue to curse like a sailor and hate every minute of it.  This last week we had quite an adventure on our run in the morning.  We usually walk the first quarter mile to get warmed up and talk as fast as we can.  We also allow the dog to do his "business" since we are nice like that.  As we were walking the beginning of our run, we noticed a woman who appeared to be dressed similar to Olivia Newton John in her "Let's get Physical" video...You know the one?  Yes, with a head band and all.  Well, minus the leotard and add an oversized sweatshirt.   My philosophy when it comes to situations like this is to just look away and pretend like I don't see them. Unfortunately, with this philosophy I tend to miss a lot of ridiculous behavior.  This incident was no different.

As the freak of a woman was singing (loudly I might add) she noticed us and she started waving spastically in our direction.  Now, we have a dog with us so, I am thinking "She won't come near us with this vicious dog who is afraid of his own shadow, will she?"  Indeed she did.  She picked up the pace and started jogging in our direction all the while screaming at us and all I could understand was "HEY LADIES"  The rest was completely inaudible but, she continued to scream and jog.  My cheery running partner (who is freaking out at this point), says "We were going to run anyway so, let's just start running."  Off we go, thinking she will stop or show us some sort of missing appendage that needs medical attention as soon as possible.  Oh no, no, no,...she begins to pick up the pace even more.  At this point, we are sprinting and I mean SPRINTING like Flo Jo in the olympics.  The more my running partner turns around to see what she is doing, the more it eggs her on so she runs even faster and screams even louder.   She got within about 6 ft of me at one point but I am quite certain that her hangover or 3 day meth binge probably caught up with her and we left her in the dust.  As we rounded the corner and saw she stopped running, she was just jumping up and down as if she just won a medal and screaming..."YA, YA, YA, LADIES"  Huh?  What just happened? 

We spent the rest of the run in therapy discussing the events of what happened.  Wondering what her problem was? Why was she wearing a headband?  Why was she screaming at us?  How much Patron did she drink last night? How do you wake up and think....I feel like chasing someone?  The best part of this whole scene was when I told my super hot hubby what had happened his response was..."Well, that is part of it."  Come again....WTF? Part of what??? If this is part of running, I want absolutely NO part of it!!!  This crazy b#@*h could be my way out of this whole thing!!!