1. I did NOT adamantly refuse to share the malt balls that I eventually went to the store, on my own, to buy. I could NOT believe that he would even ask for some of said malt balls. He is NOT that ridiculous, is he?
2. I did NOT feel so bad about not sharing those malt balls with my husband that I eventually gave in and let him have some. And when my children asked for some of those same malt balls, I did NOT tell them that daddy ate them all. I did NOT throw him under the bus like that. (I did NOT giggle just a little at the very mention of balls, I swear I did NOT).
3. I did NOT listen to a 90 minute fit from my 3 year old because she was refusing to apologize for hitting her sister. I do NOT know where she gets her stubborn tendency from, I really do NOT. 90 minutes, for gods sake!!!
4. I was NOT so excited when I found out that part of a behavior incentive for a kid at school was for him to play the wii for 30 minutes with me. I did NOT try boxing for the first time and I did NOT look like a total spazz trying to jab and uppercut throughout the game.
5. I did NOT try to make a dramatic exit after reprimanding a child at work and take a header on my way out (Charlie Brown style, I might add) and my first thought, as I lay on the ground, was NOT "I hope I didn't rip my jeans."
6. I was NOT completely traumatized by witnessing my mother in law and father in law dancing to gospel rap music. There was NOT spanking involved in this dance-freak show and I am NOT in need of a really good therapist to make the lambs stop screaming. MAKE THEM STOP!!!
18 comments:
Why doesn't our families get it when we actually buy our own candy we don't want to share!! lol Funny list!
Lydia
in our house, if you want to keep it, you write your name on it and hide it .. usually writing your name on it works, but if it is something you really do not want to share .. hiding seems obvious ..
there are 6 in the house, so there is plenty of blame room .. I cant count the times that nobody did something that got done ..
Hey .. aren't those MY balls ?
When I go get my own Hershey, my body wants the entire candy bar. If even one piece is missing, my body knows it - and has one of those craving fits . . . and I am FORCED to get another Hershey to make up for the loss!
From start to finish, this was a great list. I was smiling so big at #1. Hubby didn't realize what a big deal it was, did he? I bet those malt balls tasted REALLY good. #6 - I am SOOOO glad that didn't happen! Whew! It is scary for me to just imagine my in-laws doing that. Hilariously frightening.
My latest post: Not Me! Monday
Ok, two things. First, how did you guys get a Wii at school?? And the whole in-laws dancing, ass smacking, wow! Don't you wish you could 'delete' images from your brain?
Ooh - gospel rap music and a dance? That must have been so fun to watch. I don't eat yummy food and blame it on my husband either! Hope you have a fall-free week this week!
Oh, so funny! Loved your list. I totally didn't hide an entire recipe of puppy chow and eat it...in a week.
I'm amazed at your tenacity. A 90 minute fit! Wow. I need to read your blog more and learn your secrets!
OMGosh, I can hear the lambs, too! What a horrid sight that must have been.
I'm so happy none of that happened to you last week.
I still need to finish mine and get it posted but not until tonight, unfortunately.
Pam
I don't even know your MIL and FIL but those images are hurting my brain and my eyes. Make it stop!
Oh if only # 6 was on You Tube!
My household is big on Wii boxing, and has lead my son to unch me one to many times!
Great not me's :)
6. I was NOT completely traumatized by witnessing my mother in law and father in law dancing to gospel rap music. There was NOT spanking involved in this dance-freak show and I am NOT in need of a really good therapist to make the lambs stop screaming. MAKE THEM STOP!!!
Oh my gosh, that's wayyyyy too funny!
I also hoard treats that I'm not willing to share. I find I have to come up with a new hiding spot each time, or plain ol' "not take them from the car to the house until the kids are in bed" before I eat 'em. Malt balls? Those are DH's fav... I only buy them for him if HE will share ;)
My suggestion is that you get hubby a bag of malt balls for Valentine's Day. You could wrap the bag in fancy ribbon and they could be all his.
On second thought, maybe he doesn't deserve an ENTIRE bag. Three or four should do just fine. Might I suggest keeping the rest for yourself? :)
-Francesca
YES! Taking a header, that is always fun! Also, I had a fundraiser given to me today with malted balls on it, and totally thought of you!
Grrrr 3 yr old fits....grrrrr
It's me again! It is now Wednesday and I KNOW you have stuff to blog about! ;)
I hate sharing! By the way I had to get chocolate covered malted balls!!
Ok, that last one was absolutely hilarious!
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