True story...really it is.

I am currently working as an elementary school counselor and have learned over the years that I am not a valued person on that campus. I am being serious here. Teachers can teach math, reading, writing, etc. There are subsets of teachers such as a resource teacher, special ed teacher, English language learners teacher, etc. that all teach to exactly what our little kiddles may need. Where does the counselor fit in? Well, I had a good dose of that question when I returned to my "Office" after a well deserved summer off only to find it is now being used as a storage shed. It was a HOT MESS. Apparently, we really did get rid of a storage shed and needed a place to store a bunch o' crap so, why not the counseling office? I spent the entire work day organizing the mess of over 200 chairs, 6-7 desks, 30 ancient computers and a crap load of drums. Seriously, who needed the drums? WTF??? I left the school feeling organized, efficient, and clean with the mess properly stored behind 7 cabinets. I came in the next morning and there was more crap!! More space = more crap. So I literally had to move a file cabinet just to get to my desk and I hurt my back. I know I am a wuss and all but, COME ON!!

Workman's comp got involved since I was injured at work and sent me to THEIR Dr. which promptly returned me to work that day. I asked her in my hysterical fit if she was, in fact, CRAZY? I may have dropped the f-bomb in there a few times as well just to get my point across. I was not able to stand up at this point and when I was standing or walking, I was moving like a 90 year old woman that had misplaced her walker. So, me being the good employee that I am, returns to work and it took all of about an hour before a kid almost kicked me in the (insert expletive here) face!!! I call the workmans comp lady and this is our actual conversation (well almost I guess)

F'in workmans comp lady - "well your principal needs to establish a perimeter around you so that no kids come near you."

Sweet counselor that is crippled - "what would you suggest? Some orange cones and yellow police tape?"

F'in workmans comp lady - "you need to chill out little mama."

Sweet crippled counselor - inaudible language, many expletives, maybe even some threats...it was all a blur at that point.